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- T -

Tack:
    Drawing Pin

Takeout Restaurant:
    Takeaway

Tailor-Made:
    Bespoke

Tank Top, Sleeveless Undershirt:
    Vest

Tape (Scotch):
    Sello Tape

Tattle, Nark:
     Shop, Grass 
("You're not going to grass on me for pinching that snickers bar are you Bob?")  or ("I hope you're not going to shop your best mate for nicking that cheap necklace are you Ron?")

Telling Off, Verbal Reprimand:
    'Bollocking'
("Sam is certainly going to get a bollocking on Monday for that broken window!")

Temper (bad):
   Bad Temper, Stroppy
("Will has been awfully stroppy lately, he must not be getting enough sleep!")

Tennis Shoes, Sneakers:
    Trainers

Testicles, Balls:
     Bollocks, Knackers, Goolies + Balls & Testicles!
'Bollocks' has other meanings as well. First - equal to "Yeah, right"
(Jack to Roger: Did you know there are 20 women to every man in London?  Roger to Jack: Bollocks!) 
Or it could be a good thing:
(Jack to Roger: That party last night was the Dog's Bollocks!)

Or, see 'Telling Off' above.

Thanks!:
    Ta!, Cheers!, Thanks! 
or...to be very British say: "Thank you very much indeed!"

Thermos:
    Flask, Vacuum Flask

Thread:
    Cotton, Thread

Tick-Tack-Toe:
    Noughts and Crosses

Tired, worn out:
    Tired, Knackered ("I'm knackered after that walk Ian, get me a cup of tea" - "Please")

Toilet Paper:
    Toilet Roll, Loo Roll
 
Toll-Free Number:
    Freephone

'Total' ("I totalled the car"):
    Write-off
("Jeremy wrote-off his new Jag last weekend!")

Traffic Circle:
    Roundabout, Island 
(And there are 's***loads' of them too! Can't go for more than a mile in a straight line without hitting one of the blessed things.)

Trailer Hitch:
    Towbar

Train Engineer:
    Train Driver

Training Wheels:
    Stabilisers

Treasury Department:
    The Exchequer, Bank of England
(Actually, the 'Exchequer' is the government's account at the National Bank of England)

Trillion:
    Million Million

Triple:
    Treble

Truck (cargo):
    Lorry

Trunk (car):
    Boot

Turn Signals (car):
    Indicators

Tuxedo:
    Dinner Jacket

TV:
    Telly
('What's on telly tonight Mildred?'  - 'Just that documentary on the history of the toilet dear')

Two-Storey House (See one-storey also):
    House
(Anything that isn't at least two-storeys is called a bungalow, not a 'house'.)

Two Weeks (Any two week period of time):
    Fortnight

- U -

Underwear (mens):
    Pants

Unlisted Phone Number:
    Ex-Directory
('Simon's new number is ex-directory')

Unique, Single Time :
    'One-Off'
(For example: The Brits love their documentaries. If they are starting a new documentary that will be shown over many weeks it is of course a 'series,'  but if it is just a single episode documentary, they'll call it a 'one-off' documentary.)

U.S. Army, Air Force, Marine Corps, Navy:
    British Army, Royal Air Force, Royal Marines, Royal Navy
(Now there's a strange one: Everything's called 'Royal' except the Army!)

- V -

Vacation:
    Holiday

Vacuum Cleaner:
    'Hoover,' vacuum cleaner  
(Slang that caught on - 'I have to do the hoovering tonight')

Vagina:
    Fanny ! 
(An older person's slang word. All the normal crude words are used also)

Van (large, delivery):
   Transit Van

VCR:
    Video
('Hey, they've got Hitachi videos on sale this weekend for £199.99')

(See picture)

Vest:
    Waistcoat

Visit or Stop by:
    Call-in  
('I'll call-in later this week Nigel')

- W -

Wake someone up, Knock on door:
    Knock-Up (!)  
(Eric to visitor: 'Would you like me to knock you up in the morning Karen?')

Walker (elderly walking frame):
    Zimmerframe

Washcloth:
    (Face) Flannel

Wastebasket:
    Bin

Watch ('watch your head'):
     Mind  
(Safety announcement you'll hear on the London Underground - 'Mind the Gap')

Waxed Paper:
    Grease-Proof Paper

Welfare:
    Benefits
(Henry to his wife: "Karen? Isn't she the one living on benefits in that council house over on Riley Rd.?")

Whine:
    Whinge ("i" is not long. Sounds like hinge)
("Stop your whingeing Katherine")

Windbreaker:
    Windcheater

Windshield:
    Windscreen

Woman (a promiscuous or sleezy):
    Slag

Work, (to avoid doing any):
    'Skive'
('Hey George, why wasn't Ian at football practice yesterday?' 'He was skiving as usual Phil.')

Worn Out, Tired:
    Knackered

Wrench, Monkey Wrench:
    Spanner

- X -

Suggestions?

- Y -

Yard:
    Garden  
(Whether it's small, large, planted or not)

Yard / Garage Sale:
    Car Boot Sale
(The Brits generally only sell their junk, usually in a big field on a weekend with other sellers, out of the trunk [boot] of their cars.)

Yellow (only as in the Green, Yellow, Red on Traffic Lights):
    Amber

Yearbook:
    Unheard of
(The Brits don't do class pictures or yearbooks at school, and they only have the very occasional reunion.)

Yield (on the road):
    Give Way

"You're Welcome":
    Not used (well, rarely)
(As polite as the English are (and they are very, very polite) they do not generally say "you're welcome." They'll say nothing in return, or say 'thanks' in return.)

- Z -

Z (the letter):
    Zed

Zero:
    Nought

Zip Code:
    Post Code

Zucchini:
    Courgette

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